We hear this all the time.


Seriously, if you’re a co-worker, friend or family member of a pole dancer, you need to STOP making this joke. It’s always the first one we hear and it’s definitely getting old. (Not to mention, the topic of abuse isn’t funny!)

10 thoughts on “We hear this all the time.

  1. I know that the joke can be annoying, but we need to be sensitive in the case that someone might actually be worried… I had a neighbor in a 4 plex come banging on our door when my husband and I were having a ‘tickle fight’ one time… I was horrified, thinking she was just being impatient with us for making a little noise when we were usually really quiet. I found out later that she’d lived next door to someone who had been beaten by her boyfriend and she’d not said anything about the noise only to feel horrible after finding out the truth… so when she heard the noise this time she wasn’t standing by and being silent, just in case. She was relieved to find out that we’d only been tickling and being silly, and I was surprised and thankful that she’d made the effort to bang on our door. Even if it was a false alarm it was a courageous thing that she did. I’ve tried to be sensitive since then, including when I get whispers and sidelong glances for my pole bruises (or worse bruises when I used to kickbox). It’s better for people to care than for them to not bother. (A clue for ppl who aren’t in the know, usually people who are being injured by someone else don’t “sport” their bruises proudly like pole-dancers and kick-boxers do 🙂 )

    • I agree! I can usually tell genuine concern from a joke and when it’s the later, I get annoyed. If genuine, then I can explain that my husband, is indeed, treating me well. It seems like we can tell who has been pole dancing by the placement of the bruises, too.

      “(A clue for ppl who aren’t in the know, usually people who are being injured by someone else don’t “sport” their bruises proudly like pole-dancers and kick-boxers do 🙂 )”

      It is brave what that neighbor did for you. I tend to get angry when people joke about domestic abuse in general. We do have to look out for each other!

    • Interestingly, my Doctor has added my my file that I pole dance, because some of the bruises I was sporting at my last pap smear appointment apparently alarmingly resembled the bruises of a sexual assult victim.

    • As someone who suffered abuse not from a partner but from my mother, your neighbor is a better person than most.

    • (Same anon:)
      In fact, my neighbors would gather in front of the building all the time as if it was some sort of show without images, and that’s all. And my mom would use that as an excuse to be even more violent and verbally abusive, because according to her they thought she was being physically abusive and I was shameful and bringing shame to her (it’s kind of ironic now.) Why they never did something, I don’t know.

  2. The night before my last pole class I blew my nose in the bathroom with no lights on. I bent to dispose of the tissue and my cheek collided – hard – with the granite counter top. My second reaction (first being “Oh look, stars!”) was “Crap, this combined with pole kisses are going to make my bf look pretty bad!”

  3. I can’t help but laugh at this one… I’ve been poledancing for about a year and a half now and when I just started dancing I was blue and purple all over. I went for my monthly wax and the girl asked me very worried if there was problems with me and my boyfriend. I just looked at her and said ‘oh dear, you should see him…’ Needless to say she turned bright red, I started laughing and told her I started poledancing.

    Sometimes the best way to deal with critics is to be a bit sarcastic….

    Loving the blog.

    Lots of love from SA.


  4. I’m my mother’s daughter-I even look at something funny and I bruise. So needless to say I REALLY look bruised and battered after my poleventures o.O

    I’ve heard a few jokes here and there which never really bothers me, but I haven’t run across anyone with genuine concern yet. I agree with Kathy though; it takes a very courageous person to ask questions and to offer help, abuse or no abuse!

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